DON'T SHOOT THE SIDECHICK!

Well... There is tons of answers to this question: We go out and meet girls who sweep us off our feet. We meet woman we'd like to explore. We bump into girls who make us feel good about ourselves. We are surrounded by woman who think they hard-to-get. We know egoistic girls who got to know "who is the man." And quite frankly, we find ourselves in situations where bitches want to give us the cookie, that's like "payment" without working. But there should be a fundamental reason why we niggers cheat... Should I break it down? 

 A single guy could meet a girl whom he "thinks" is a woman of his life. He would initially brush that idea off and "still" pursue the innocent young lady. Go out with her, and whatever happens after that is beyond the scope of this article. The point I am making here is; boys hardly know if they really want to pursue a relationship, nevertheless they are always willing to give it a shot, thus the concept "fell in love" was born. To guys, love is nothing like a new job. It's not something we just walk into and boom, "meet your fiancé." Nope. Initially we just having fun, and then we realise there is something more than just a cookie in that jar. We don't walk into love, we just want to impress the young lady and oops... We've fallen. 

 Men love standards, in fact Steve Harvey suggest that "Men respect standards: Get Some," in his book: ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN. Standards don't only attract us to a woman, they keep us going, wanting more, and most importantly: Having the fear of losing out (or should we call it FOLO or maybe FOLOUT). There is nothing that draws a guy closer than that fear to his woman. It's the same as fear of going to hell to the majority of believers. Here we are not talking about cheating, don't get it twisted. Cheating could be a once of event, like a one night stand. We not talking about friends with benefits, which could extend for a period of time and also could be labeled as cheating. We are talking about having a consistent and ongoing relationship with a so called: sidechick. 

 Sidechicks are not a yesterday thing. They are the same reason our forefathers practised polygamy (or rather isithembu). Sidechicks are here to stay. King Solomon had those. They are not much of a burden to men, but a headache to girls. Good news girls is, the situation can be controlled. You don't have to save the world, you are not Jesus sweetheart. You can only save yourself. Here is how: 

 1. Take Steve's advise and get some standards. Your boyfriend love them. 

 2. Be hard to get and easy to please. Let him chase you. Give him hope that he will get you, but don't make it easy for him. 

 3. Don't call him, let him call you. Don't take him on a date, let him take you there. Don't pay for your dinner, give him an opportunity to know what it feels like being a provider. 

 4. Appreciate his effort, be receptive to his generosity, his complement. 

 5. Don't call him (in the first days, especially after the date), he will call you. But if you do call; just say "thanks for the other day, I really liked the movie." Or whatever he did for you. Please don't talk about feelings. 

 6. Don't give up your plans just to accommodate him. He need to know that you have a life. 

 7. Put yourself first. In fact, get your priorities right. You have a job maybe, a career, studies. Put those first. It also part of having some standards. 

 8. Have the ability to say no. Don't be harsh on him. Just be reasonable. If he ask for unreasonable favours, just say "I would have loved to but... "And give them an excuse. Tell him what you'll be doing. 

9. Don't give him the cookie too soon. If he get it on the second date. He knows a lot of guys have had it. It doesn't worth his commitment. You'll never believe how guys are always looking a reason not to commit. 

 10. Keep the fire burning. Never forget what attracted him to you in the first place. A year down the line. He still want the same gorgeous, inquisitive, mentally stimulating, and success driven Nonhle that hooked him in the first days. 

 11. Focus on yourself. I can never overemphasise the importance of this point. Men are attracted to woman who love themselves more than anything in the world. Never put him first in your life, and you'll keep him coming for more. 

 12. Make it clear you are not afraid of losing him, BUT: No noise. Guys hate noise. Especially coming from a woman that they like. Walk the walk. If he undermines you in anyway (including seeing a sidechick). Walk away, don't call. Let him make effort, hunt you down until he finds you. Feel up your time. Hangout with girlfriends and try and avoid talking about him. And when you eventually forgive him. Give him few and concise conditions. And please, do not remind him of his past mistake each time he forgets fetching you at the bus stop. 

My friend. If you think this through and adjust your relationship such that he never undermines you. Sidechicks are the thing of the past. And if he insist on those, never be afraid to walk away, he doesn't worth it. Give your life to someone who can handle it. Don't talk to much, don't shoot the sidechick; just walk away.

THESE HOES BE LIKE: BAYAFANA!

Oh poor hottie. I guess you haven't got hold of the playbook. There are rules in this game of love, and I am not about to dish them out for you. But congratulations on your first discovery: Yep... Abafana bayafana. And they can be controlled, good news is, you don't necessarily have to be a control freak.

You know, there is a bunch of ladies and gents out there who are constantly involved on research studies based relationships just to make sure you have a quality relationship. The thing about you sweetheart is; You don't read. So I figured I could put it in a nutshell for you. Hope you have the balls to constantly visit this blog.

Back to guys. Yep, siyafana sisi. Good thing is, we are capable of changing. All you need to do is to understand a few things about us.

First things first. We don't go around looking for the one. But we are always willing to pursue you. A guy is forever ready to pursue the girl who's been next door  for 10 years, all of a sudden. And tell her the best lie of all times, "I've always loved you, I just never had the balls to confess it to you." Or a girl he just met 2 minutes ago and the young nigger will be like, "I don't know girl but there's something about you, that makes me wanna get to know you better."

Point is, you don't have to believe us right away. Somewhere inside us there is boy who'd like to date every girl in the world. And just as Steve Harvey put it in his book, ACT LIKE A LADY THINK LIKE A MAN, we boys are forever ready to eat the cookie. Your job is to always make effort to determine if we really want to be with you, or we just gaming and out to get the cookie.

The greatest mistake you girls make is believing everything we say, and the second of all is your inability to reverse the chemistry. If you could try to at least keep it low until you are sure of us, and then be able to reverse the chemistry if you suspect I have not really made up mind about you. It will do you a lot good. But because of your fear of losing the guy, you end up losing a lot in a process of trying to make him happy.

Well... I believe this is one of the couple of blog posts about relationships I am about to write. Try and digest this for now and keep coming back for more. If by any chance you have a thing or two to say to me. Or I never keep up to my promise. Get hold of me on my Facebook account and here is the link: www.facebook.com/diyosokhela

With love

STRANGE FRUIT