Friday, February 12, 2016

FRIENDS WITH WHAT?!

Why on earth would the two choose to remain ‘just friends,’ and still want to reap the benefits of dating? The best place to start answering this question, before we explore alternative answers, is me… Yes, I’ve had such. So let’s dip in.

Why did I have a friend with benefits again? Well, I was probably testing the waters like every guy would do. Boom, I got lucky. And then it happened again, and again, and again with the same person. So why did I have a friend with benefits? Accidentally.

We are the boys, we’d always want the cookie, even if we don’t really want it. But somehow we just do, so if she’s willing, why not. Boys don’t just want to sleep with you, but they are actively trying to. So if you are willing to give it up, they’ll get it.
\
When it comes to sex, the first option is bargain. “What’s the least I can give up to get it with her?” The boy would ask himself. We know the best we could give up to get sex is the ring. But come oooon… Can’t we just? So the boys are always looking for a way around getting the cookie without giving up the ring, and the lesser we give up, the better.

Rest assured, the ‘friends with benefits concept really came up with a guy. It might just be the same concepts that inspired prostitution. This might have happened during the bargain negotiation. Eventually women figured, they could give up the cookie at a ‘price tag.’

So, again; Why do people want to be friends with benefits? The answers could be,

                               I.            Perfect Accident
Men are forever actively trying to get it. If she’s willing, he’ll go as far as she allows him to. It’s not personal to him, it’s just sex.

                             II.            Bargain power to detach strings
During the bargaining process, he was able to convince her to give up the cookie in exchange for nothing. Men are forever bargaining for cheap sex, they can always friendship for such benefits.

                          III.            Gratification
To feed the sex drive. We all have that, sometimes we just want to get, both guys and girls. The only thing is, it’s both scientifically and biblically proven that too much sex affect girls more than guys. We all don’t know what happened to the guy who slept with the woman who was handed to Jesus to be stoned to death, nobody knows where the guy disappeared to.

                         IV.            To compensate yourself for being single
People who’ve grasp some benefits of being single, but who still want to feed their sex drive are likely to opt for friends with benefits too. These people hates the burden that comes with having someone in your life, but also want to enjoy the pleasure that comes with having someone by your side.

                            V.            Settle for less
Well, for technical reasons there’s people you just cannot be with, but you love them enough to get it with them. Thus, friends with benefits

                         VI.            To explore variety
Well, both guys and girls come in different shapes, sizes and packages. The thrill of knowing you only live once and you can’t have all the variety to yourself could get you naughty. Curiosity is a dangerous thing. So to if one finds themselves curious on what the other has to offer in bed, they could settle for friends with benefits.

Final words:

If you ever find yourself in such, be sure to remember this is the game of taking from someone, and not giving. So when the time to go separate ways finally arrives, you don’t feel like it’s been taken from you. It’s important that you are both on the same mind when you play this sex game. And be ready to suffer the setbacks that comes with it, like falling for someone who is just in it for the fun of it. And don’t you ever do it to try and hook someone into a relationship. That’s formula for disaster.

Monday, January 25, 2016

FIRST THINGS FIRST, MABHEBEZA!



Love is a beautiful thing, and by saying that I ain’t buying no face or favors. I love couples who love holding on to their partners, because that’s the only way you could make it work (If it’s meant to work).

The state of break-ups amongst the milk-toothed relationships is quite frightening. What’s is really scary, especially within the black community, is how we often break-up when there is a new life involved. Wait a minute! How did we get this far in the first place? Who cares, the milk is spilt already, what’s the use of crying over it.

Even so, I still feel we miss our priorities hell a lot of times. Sweety… Priorities isn’t a list of things enlisted in the first page of your diary, nope. Priorities is the chain of acts… I’d love to be making some sense but I sense I’m not. Point is, priorities are to be acted upon, not just written down and decorated. If something matters that much to you, it should show.

I don’t know how you’ve nailed priorities in your diary, but from your chain of acts it appears your sequence is quite absurd. Your Facebook status was sounding a lot like we might be hearing the wedding bells quite soon, but before we know, it’s all over. And so we conclude, your expectations of your three-month old relationship were much unreasonable.

Believe you me, there is more to cling-on in life than just your partner in love. How about you secure that qualification, get that paper and then find some compatible companion to chow it with. I am not saying stop it with umjolo (Dating). But juggle it a little down in your priorities. There is a lot to get right before trying to get it right. First things first ma se kend. Keep your loved one close, but your goals even closer.