MEET THE BEAST IN ALL MEN

I feel strongly for the young lady who came up with the notorious saying "men are dogs." She is not such different from the women who still reverberate these words at this day and age. One common thread that connects all these women is the tragedy of an encounter they had with 'Mr Wrong' at the crossroads of life.

I am a man and I understand my fellows, the so-called Mr Wrong. On behalf of all men, I must confess there was a great degree of truth in the statement, 'all men are dogs.' However, ladies should note, altering this statement to "there is a dog in every men" could elevate this statement into a higher degree of truth. And today I want every lady to meet this dog.

The dog in every men is honest, he wants nothing but the meat and he can do all possible to get it. He cares about no one else but the owner, his actions only honour the wish of the hand that feeds him, and he will bark at every bitch that comes any closer to his master.

Today I want to reveal one thing about the dog in every men. He is the one you are dating, until this man meets the right one. Basically every lady that's rolling with Mr Wrong is dating the beast in him. I know it's really fun rolling with Mr Wrong, until he walks away. Quite often this is the time where you notice the tail between his legs that you recall "all men are dogs." While the reality is, you were dating the dog in him.

Many women want a man who'll change for them. Let me tell you a secret, he'll never change for no one. Men don't change. You might think he'll change simply because he's shown some great character in him. Often it is you that notice such characters about him and you friends just don't get it. That's the signal telling you every men is a good man, except that you are not dating the guy but the beast in him. And that beast you are dating will never change; not for you, not for Boity. The only thing that will happen is, the day he meets 'the one,' the dog will take the back seat and he'll take the driver seat. The good thing is, he might meet the one in you, and in that case also, the dog will will move back and he'll take charge. The bad news is, I can't guarantee he'll do that for you.

What does this mean for you ladies? Keep calm and play safe. Never give out too much to the extent of feeling like it's been taken away from you. Don't give him what he hasn't earned. Only give to him what's due to him. Let him earn his dues. You do this so the day you discover you've been dating a dog, you'll know it's game over, the game has been good and you only compensated a player with what was due to him, and you lost nothing in the process, or at least you feel like that.

"SIDECHICK STOLE MY MAN"

He's been cheating on you for a while now, and you managed to find out a few times. Certainly you did confront him. It's okay. He apologised and you forgave him. That's absolutely okay. I understand as much your circle of girlfriends do. He's a guy and he make mistakes. And all of a sudden:

Now he's cheating on his sidechick with you. Urmmmmmn... Not so easy to digest is it? Thinking of it really, it happens rather often than less. Guys fall deep for the "other girl" who initially posed as a sidechick. She knows so much less about you but you know everything about her. Because you've been on her case and you talked too much to your boyfriend about her than you do about yourself.

Your boyfriend loves it when you start talking to him (or should I say nagging?) about his sidechick. And the more you do it, the deeper he falls for her. Busted will keep the conversation flowing just to hear the sound of her name slipping out of your very own lips. He's not interested on what you have to say about her, he just want to see how long you can go talking about his mistress. Because the further you go, the more you get used to the idea of her being in his life.

All along you talking about his sidechick he'll be asking himself, "What's so interesting about my sidechick that my girlfriend has to invest to much of her time into (1) investigating about her, (2) talking to her and (3) talking about her. Your acts make him feel like he made the right move pursuing the sidechick. The natural reaction after that is, he'll grow fonder towards the sidechick.

When men become more attracted to their 'other partner,' something really interesting (at least to me) happens. The sidechick comes first, and the so-called 'mainchick' becomes the second-best. Next thing is, he'll be spending more time with the other girl, protecting the other girl, providing for the other girl, and even talking more about the other girl than he does about you.

Well... What comes after this is of no interest to me: DRAMA!!! DRAMA!!! DRAMA!!!  the so-called mainchicks are so dramatic you'll swear the won their men in the national lottery. They act like they have no idea how they initially won his interest. Possibility is, we'll talk more on this behaviour on our next post. What one needs to note for now is, sidechick syndrome need to be handled with care and maturity, otherwise you are destined into swiping position with her... If you don't get kicked out of the triangle entirely.

Let's do this again soon. Keep visiting the blog and tell your folks to do the same. Remember sharing is caring (in terms of the blog, not partners!) and your comments are much welcome.

DON'T SHOOT THE SIDECHICK!

Well... There is tons of answers to this question: We go out and meet girls who sweep us off our feet. We meet woman we'd like to explore. We bump into girls who make us feel good about ourselves. We are surrounded by woman who think they hard-to-get. We know egoistic girls who got to know "who is the man." And quite frankly, we find ourselves in situations where bitches want to give us the cookie, that's like "payment" without working. But there should be a fundamental reason why we niggers cheat... Should I break it down? 

 A single guy could meet a girl whom he "thinks" is a woman of his life. He would initially brush that idea off and "still" pursue the innocent young lady. Go out with her, and whatever happens after that is beyond the scope of this article. The point I am making here is; boys hardly know if they really want to pursue a relationship, nevertheless they are always willing to give it a shot, thus the concept "fell in love" was born. To guys, love is nothing like a new job. It's not something we just walk into and boom, "meet your fiancé." Nope. Initially we just having fun, and then we realise there is something more than just a cookie in that jar. We don't walk into love, we just want to impress the young lady and oops... We've fallen. 

 Men love standards, in fact Steve Harvey suggest that "Men respect standards: Get Some," in his book: ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN. Standards don't only attract us to a woman, they keep us going, wanting more, and most importantly: Having the fear of losing out (or should we call it FOLO or maybe FOLOUT). There is nothing that draws a guy closer than that fear to his woman. It's the same as fear of going to hell to the majority of believers. Here we are not talking about cheating, don't get it twisted. Cheating could be a once of event, like a one night stand. We not talking about friends with benefits, which could extend for a period of time and also could be labeled as cheating. We are talking about having a consistent and ongoing relationship with a so called: sidechick. 

 Sidechicks are not a yesterday thing. They are the same reason our forefathers practised polygamy (or rather isithembu). Sidechicks are here to stay. King Solomon had those. They are not much of a burden to men, but a headache to girls. Good news girls is, the situation can be controlled. You don't have to save the world, you are not Jesus sweetheart. You can only save yourself. Here is how: 

 1. Take Steve's advise and get some standards. Your boyfriend love them. 

 2. Be hard to get and easy to please. Let him chase you. Give him hope that he will get you, but don't make it easy for him. 

 3. Don't call him, let him call you. Don't take him on a date, let him take you there. Don't pay for your dinner, give him an opportunity to know what it feels like being a provider. 

 4. Appreciate his effort, be receptive to his generosity, his complement. 

 5. Don't call him (in the first days, especially after the date), he will call you. But if you do call; just say "thanks for the other day, I really liked the movie." Or whatever he did for you. Please don't talk about feelings. 

 6. Don't give up your plans just to accommodate him. He need to know that you have a life. 

 7. Put yourself first. In fact, get your priorities right. You have a job maybe, a career, studies. Put those first. It also part of having some standards. 

 8. Have the ability to say no. Don't be harsh on him. Just be reasonable. If he ask for unreasonable favours, just say "I would have loved to but... "And give them an excuse. Tell him what you'll be doing. 

9. Don't give him the cookie too soon. If he get it on the second date. He knows a lot of guys have had it. It doesn't worth his commitment. You'll never believe how guys are always looking a reason not to commit. 

 10. Keep the fire burning. Never forget what attracted him to you in the first place. A year down the line. He still want the same gorgeous, inquisitive, mentally stimulating, and success driven Nonhle that hooked him in the first days. 

 11. Focus on yourself. I can never overemphasise the importance of this point. Men are attracted to woman who love themselves more than anything in the world. Never put him first in your life, and you'll keep him coming for more. 

 12. Make it clear you are not afraid of losing him, BUT: No noise. Guys hate noise. Especially coming from a woman that they like. Walk the walk. If he undermines you in anyway (including seeing a sidechick). Walk away, don't call. Let him make effort, hunt you down until he finds you. Feel up your time. Hangout with girlfriends and try and avoid talking about him. And when you eventually forgive him. Give him few and concise conditions. And please, do not remind him of his past mistake each time he forgets fetching you at the bus stop. 

My friend. If you think this through and adjust your relationship such that he never undermines you. Sidechicks are the thing of the past. And if he insist on those, never be afraid to walk away, he doesn't worth it. Give your life to someone who can handle it. Don't talk to much, don't shoot the sidechick; just walk away.