10 REASONS TO SETTLE FOR A FRIEND ZONE :-p

I often wonder, why guys are so against staying in the friend zone. Well honestly gents, the fact that she's allowed you to go as far as being friend, she's given you the wicked opportunity to sweep her off her feet. All you need to do is play your cards right and before you know, she's right on your arms.

Here are 10 ways you can help her realise you are all she could ever ask for in a relationship:

1. Women love being served

Rather often than less, a lady would undertake an activity which require man power. Be sure to make yourself available at such times. Let her watch you undertake it with ease, and smilefully. It very easy to make yourself available and if you already have her digits, you are one step ahead. Randomly call her in the morning. Make it friendly. She should know whatever manly help she needs, you are a phone call away. You don't havehave to say it. Your friendly attitude towards her is enough to do the trick.

2. Be cool with "Just being friends."

Girls have a tends to be inferior if they know you are not sexually attracted to them. She'll start looking at herself in the mirror and be like, "Why doesn't he want more? Why is he cool with being just friends." Tell her she's an amazing girl and offer to introduce her to your "cool" friends. If she agrees, only introduce her to the douchebags. When they mess up, apologise later on for their "hostility."

3. Introduce her to your 'other' female friends.

Stick to the ones who really like you. Hug them right in front of her. Tell her you like them, 'It just that they are not your type.' Be confident. Tell her about the type of woman you'll like to be with. Throw in a few of her qualities to the list of all qualities you look for in a women. Be all bubbly about it. Put in some emotions. Girls love emotional people, just don't overdo it.

4. Tell her about your one favourite ex.

Tell her about all the things you liked about her. Tell her about one bad thing that caused you to break up. Even if there were a thousand reasons, just mention only one. She should know that if it wasn't for that reason you'd still be together. Woman love a man who can commit. And oh... Don't forget to mention you are currently not looking, 'You'd rather surround yourself with cheerful buddies like her.'

5. Hangout on romantic places.

Girls like parks, beaches, restaurants, libraries (Yes, libraries) and social events. Introduce her to everybody you know as "My good friend, Nonhle." And be sure to touch her each time you do. When you are around people, hangout with her a lot of time. If you get complements like "Nice pair," Don't explain yourself, be cheerful and take them. If the world think you can make a great couple, soon she'll think so too.

6. Be the guy who makes her talk if she's not OK.

Even if you don't have a solution to her problems. Give her the shoulder to cry on. Even if she can't tell you what's wrong, stick around, make her laugh, be sympathetic and cheer her up at the same time. Stick around for an extended period and be sure to make it worth the while. Ladies love a man who cares about their feelings. You don't always have to have solutions, as long as you understand, she's happy.

7. Use "traditional" communication channels.

Instead of WhatsApp; use SMS. Give her a call and tell her you'll send a "Please Call Me" when you are at her doorsteps. Woman respect effort, make some. Formulate your own communication routines.

8. If you'll be away, tell her in advance.

While you are away, make her know you'll be busy and will not be communicating extensively. Cut down on social media. Send her a couple of SMSes while you are away. Tell her you'll come back at a later date, and then show up to her place sooner and unexpectedly. Don't communicate a day before you come back. On arrival in the neighbourhood, she should be the first person you visit. Don't call, go straight to her house and knock at the door. When you see her, be sure to give her a hug.

9. Buy her something she really likes.

It should be something she never really considered buying. It should be small and inexpensive, don't go bankrupt just to put a smile on her face. Remember it's the thought that counts. If she likes printed Tee's and her favourite colour is pink, consider the latest Ama-Kip Kip T-shirt. Even if it never crossed her mind she'd want to buy it. The fact that you know (I) She likes 'printed' and (II) her favourite colour is pink, makes you a genuinely caring guy to her.

10. And finally;

Always look out for that one moment when she'd be deadly in love with you, emotionally paralysed, and seemingly ready to give in. Take her down with some bad romance and the rest will be history. NB: Before you shoot for a French kiss, you might have tried a baby kiss at least twice and got lucky.

Brother, you've just been promoted from a guy on the friend zone to a boyfriend. It's not rocket sciences... It's street social sciences.

DON'T SHOOT THE SIDECHICK!

Well... There is tons of answers to this question: We go out and meet girls who sweep us off our feet. We meet woman we'd like to explore. We bump into girls who make us feel good about ourselves. We are surrounded by woman who think they hard-to-get. We know egoistic girls who got to know "who is the man." And quite frankly, we find ourselves in situations where bitches want to give us the cookie, that's like "payment" without working. But there should be a fundamental reason why we niggers cheat... Should I break it down? 

 A single guy could meet a girl whom he "thinks" is a woman of his life. He would initially brush that idea off and "still" pursue the innocent young lady. Go out with her, and whatever happens after that is beyond the scope of this article. The point I am making here is; boys hardly know if they really want to pursue a relationship, nevertheless they are always willing to give it a shot, thus the concept "fell in love" was born. To guys, love is nothing like a new job. It's not something we just walk into and boom, "meet your fiancé." Nope. Initially we just having fun, and then we realise there is something more than just a cookie in that jar. We don't walk into love, we just want to impress the young lady and oops... We've fallen. 

 Men love standards, in fact Steve Harvey suggest that "Men respect standards: Get Some," in his book: ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN. Standards don't only attract us to a woman, they keep us going, wanting more, and most importantly: Having the fear of losing out (or should we call it FOLO or maybe FOLOUT). There is nothing that draws a guy closer than that fear to his woman. It's the same as fear of going to hell to the majority of believers. Here we are not talking about cheating, don't get it twisted. Cheating could be a once of event, like a one night stand. We not talking about friends with benefits, which could extend for a period of time and also could be labeled as cheating. We are talking about having a consistent and ongoing relationship with a so called: sidechick. 

 Sidechicks are not a yesterday thing. They are the same reason our forefathers practised polygamy (or rather isithembu). Sidechicks are here to stay. King Solomon had those. They are not much of a burden to men, but a headache to girls. Good news girls is, the situation can be controlled. You don't have to save the world, you are not Jesus sweetheart. You can only save yourself. Here is how: 

 1. Take Steve's advise and get some standards. Your boyfriend love them. 

 2. Be hard to get and easy to please. Let him chase you. Give him hope that he will get you, but don't make it easy for him. 

 3. Don't call him, let him call you. Don't take him on a date, let him take you there. Don't pay for your dinner, give him an opportunity to know what it feels like being a provider. 

 4. Appreciate his effort, be receptive to his generosity, his complement. 

 5. Don't call him (in the first days, especially after the date), he will call you. But if you do call; just say "thanks for the other day, I really liked the movie." Or whatever he did for you. Please don't talk about feelings. 

 6. Don't give up your plans just to accommodate him. He need to know that you have a life. 

 7. Put yourself first. In fact, get your priorities right. You have a job maybe, a career, studies. Put those first. It also part of having some standards. 

 8. Have the ability to say no. Don't be harsh on him. Just be reasonable. If he ask for unreasonable favours, just say "I would have loved to but... "And give them an excuse. Tell him what you'll be doing. 

9. Don't give him the cookie too soon. If he get it on the second date. He knows a lot of guys have had it. It doesn't worth his commitment. You'll never believe how guys are always looking a reason not to commit. 

 10. Keep the fire burning. Never forget what attracted him to you in the first place. A year down the line. He still want the same gorgeous, inquisitive, mentally stimulating, and success driven Nonhle that hooked him in the first days. 

 11. Focus on yourself. I can never overemphasise the importance of this point. Men are attracted to woman who love themselves more than anything in the world. Never put him first in your life, and you'll keep him coming for more. 

 12. Make it clear you are not afraid of losing him, BUT: No noise. Guys hate noise. Especially coming from a woman that they like. Walk the walk. If he undermines you in anyway (including seeing a sidechick). Walk away, don't call. Let him make effort, hunt you down until he finds you. Feel up your time. Hangout with girlfriends and try and avoid talking about him. And when you eventually forgive him. Give him few and concise conditions. And please, do not remind him of his past mistake each time he forgets fetching you at the bus stop. 

My friend. If you think this through and adjust your relationship such that he never undermines you. Sidechicks are the thing of the past. And if he insist on those, never be afraid to walk away, he doesn't worth it. Give your life to someone who can handle it. Don't talk to much, don't shoot the sidechick; just walk away.

ABSOLUTE MISUNDERSTANDINGS (LOVE STORY)

I always had female friends. I loved them. My friends always thought I wasn't lucky with the girls. As for me, It wasn't necessarily a challenge. I always thought of love as a natural phenomenon. Something that happens without being initiated. There is no better word to define this but CHEMISTRY.

I never approached any of my girls, I discovered them. I didn't pursue them, I gave them the room to get used to the idea of us being together. Falling in love was always an adventure... Oh, how I loved each event that led to the next.

I still love every chick I ever dated. I still cheer each time I see each one of them. The feeling haven't changed, and I think that's how the concept of moving on was born. I live it everyday. For I never stopped loving Thobile, Noxolo, Khanyi Willem, and Sbuicy... I only moved on.

Funny how Nomzamo is only my fifth girlfriend. Don't ask me about Yummygal or Naturale... I met those on MXit and I only kissed them through the phone #SouljaBoy.

I love girls. I value girls. I apprecite girls. I like making my feelings known. I hate hidding feelings. There is no significant relationship between how I feel and being in a romantic relationship. I believe that's where I'm commonly being misunderstood.

My adoptation of your concept of love is the only reason I nod when I'm being called #BadBoyDee. Otherwise, I don't know what the fuss is wrong with my concept of loving girls without opting for a relationship. Even more weird considering how hardly I throw my dick around.

Yours truly

DIYO SOKHELA (SIYABONGA)
+27 74 911 4054