Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Opposite Sex Friends

I've written many poems about friends of opposite sex. Most of which I've never recited. At the back of my mind I always knew, like my poem entitled 'Maybe' says; friends were meant to love one another.

Yes it's true; many of my poems about such friendships were inspired by friendships I've been in. Like all sorts of friendships, some did work, others didn't. Though these friendships might have not worked, still the poems inspired by them endure. Here is the reason; Poets (or at least I) don't normally write about specific people, events, situations, or scenarios, they simply draw inspiration and write about whatever that inspiration leads them into. For this reason, the poems I wrote didn't normally talks about these friendships specifically, rather they enlightened the audience about the nature of friendships I've been through and situations I've encountered. As a result, when some of such friendships fail... poems endure.

There is one common danger of being friend with a person of opposite sex. Confusion. Most of such friendships begin with a clear purpose, friendship. For some folks, like myself, who are naturally sweet and love making their friends to feel special and appreciated, there is a danger that the nature of friendship you're in might be mistaken for something mO0ore than just friendship. This suspicion isn't always raised by outsiders, even  the friend you're in the relationship with, might.

Sure there is nothing wrong with couples who start off as friends. In fact, relationships that start off as friendships and grow into something deeper are most likely to work, if well nurtured, compared to those where a couple was either familiar with one another or they seldom met in the street and suddenly started going out. Here is the point; not all friendships of opposite sex should be anticipated to grow into a romantic relationship or even marriage. The mentality of expecting a friendship to grow into something deeper usually steal from the two, as a result, you fail to enjoy the benefits of being purely friends. Here I'm not referring to the benefits of the friends categorised as 'friends with benefits'. I'm talkin about the benefit of having someone to talk to, share your raw thoughts with, without being under pressure to impress. Someone who'll accept you as you are and be purely a friend who isn't obligated to please you or put a smile on your face.

I've been with a couple of female friends. Almost all of these friendships were a great experience and they taught me lots about girls. Like the fact that girls are not necessarily materialistic, but still they are willing to accept it when guys wish to spend on them. Sure they like guys, but it's not always that they intend to develop affairs with those they like. They are not always looking for hunks, charmers, money-spenders, celebs and all that, normally they want to be with someone who can put a smile on their face without trying too hard. Deep within their hearts they know, they'll rather be with someone with lots of brains rather than a mindless millionaire.

A word to the guys: Girls are not always interested to you as boyfriends, at times you should be willing to settle for just friendship. Here is one more fact (or should I say my opinion?) about friendships; you don't have to plan them, friendships are most likely to work if they were not ignited like fire, rather they work much better if they react like chemicals that accidentally got into contact. LOL... It's called chemistry.



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