Monday, September 21, 2015

MEET THE BEAST IN ALL MEN

I feel strongly for the young lady who came up with the notorious saying "men are dogs." She is not such different from the women who still reverberate these words at this day and age. One common thread that connects all these women is the tragedy of an encounter they had with 'Mr Wrong' at the crossroads of life.

I am a man and I understand my fellows, the so-called Mr Wrong. On behalf of all men, I must confess there was a great degree of truth in the statement, 'all men are dogs.' However, ladies should note, altering this statement to "there is a dog in every men" could elevate this statement into a higher degree of truth. And today I want every lady to meet this dog.

The dog in every men is honest, he wants nothing but the meat and he can do all possible to get it. He cares about no one else but the owner, his actions only honour the wish of the hand that feeds him, and he will bark at every bitch that comes any closer to his master.

Today I want to reveal one thing about the dog in every men. He is the one you are dating, until this man meets the right one. Basically every lady that's rolling with Mr Wrong is dating the beast in him. I know it's really fun rolling with Mr Wrong, until he walks away. Quite often this is the time where you notice the tail between his legs that you recall "all men are dogs." While the reality is, you were dating the dog in him.

Many women want a man who'll change for them. Let me tell you a secret, he'll never change for no one. Men don't change. You might think he'll change simply because he's shown some great character in him. Often it is you that notice such characters about him and you friends just don't get it. That's the signal telling you every men is a good man, except that you are not dating the guy but the beast in him. And that beast you are dating will never change; not for you, not for Boity. The only thing that will happen is, the day he meets 'the one,' the dog will take the back seat and he'll take the driver seat. The good thing is, he might meet the one in you, and in that case also, the dog will will move back and he'll take charge. The bad news is, I can't guarantee he'll do that for you.

What does this mean for you ladies? Keep calm and play safe. Never give out too much to the extent of feeling like it's been taken away from you. Don't give him what he hasn't earned. Only give to him what's due to him. Let him earn his dues. You do this so the day you discover you've been dating a dog, you'll know it's game over, the game has been good and you only compensated a player with what was due to him, and you lost nothing in the process, or at least you feel like that.

Friday, September 11, 2015

IF HE FAKE IT, BREAK IT!

Women are noticeably amused by their ability to fake orgasm. But how about a man who persistently 'comes' on a woman he feels less strongly towards? Surprisingly enough, men are ever ready to keep the relationship going even when his heart is no longer in it. But why so?

Men are driven by bravery, a desire to protect and willingness to provide. Biblically these are responsibilities entrusted to men by God. They are embedded in his spirit. His heart's desire is to please, not hurt. Subconsciously a man can only hurt a woman in an attempt to please her. A brother who purposely hurts a woman is not half a man.

So how do such good and just men end up faking relationships? Men fake relationships because of their fear of hurting women. You probably have already noticed how hardly men initiate 'break-ups.' A man's fear to initiate a break up is intertwined to his unwillingness to hurt a woman. The portrayal of a man is his intellectual abilities. Men are never ready to seat, drool and worry about a problem. What a man want is to open his tool box and fix every challenge that stands before him. Mourning isn't something that men embraces, thus Zulus would say "Indoda Ayikhali" (A man never cries).

So men would rather stay in a relationship just to make you happy, rather than looking at you mourning all the way out of their lives. Having been with you for the past eight months, he knows already that you are fragile, sensitive and can barely live without him, because you told him so. He knows the endless calls, SMSes, pings he'll get from you the day he let you walk out of that door. And he cannot bare every second of that, thus the saying "time heals every wound" does him no justice. He's Mr Fix-It for all I know, he cannot sit down and let your Psychotherapist deal with his problems, nope.

So, should it be of interest to you, how the hell you gonna find out if he's no longer into you? Well, If you've been in more than one relationship(and I know you've been), it should be easy for you to pick warning signs. One thing you certainly need to know is when love is over, things change. Not necessarily the intense to normal romance type of change. That's normal. Relationships are ablaze initially, and the flames sizes down with time, until they are just good enough to keep you warm.

Your main source of information about your relationship with him is his actions. Forget about him holding and kissing you publicly and buying you roses in and out of spring, that's bound to change. Here I am talking about his actions towards you. How he talks to you, doing things he knows you want him to do (not necessarily dancing to your guitar), his desire to make you happy, his sensitivity to your genuine wishes and his availability when you need him. Also the excuses he always make to avoid being with you could serve as the warning sign that love is over.

Men love excuses, as genuine as sometimes excuses may sound. Excuses remain exactly excuses. If he really cannot go out to see a movie with you on a Thursday afternoon as you requested, it should be to his effort to make it up for letting you down. Making it up for whatever didn't happen between you is a goldmine for assuring a woman that you still love her. Love shouldn't really be a perfect equation but rather balanced efforts.

The best thing you can do each time a man gives you a chain of excuses for not making you happy is to give him the space to deal with his chain of excuses. This is more necessary if you are not the person to help him go through his problems (excuses), and quite often you are not sweetheart. This will not only give him space deal with his excuses but also it will assure you if he's still into you. The bonus to this is, men love their space, especially if the relationship is still young. Most men normally blame it on their newly found love if they are not productive enough. So giving him space to deal with his excuses will cure a handful of his diseases.

Well urmmmmn... Can we agree that this is not a book? or at least not yet, so it's much better if we hold it here. Good thing is, you can always hit me with a question at absolutetreasurebox@gmail.com, also you comments will be highly appreciated below. Much love... Keep well.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

"SIDECHICK STOLE MY MAN"

He's been cheating on you for a while now, and you managed to find out a few times. Certainly you did confront him. It's okay. He apologised and you forgave him. That's absolutely okay. I understand as much your circle of girlfriends do. He's a guy and he make mistakes. And all of a sudden:

Now he's cheating on his sidechick with you. Urmmmmmn... Not so easy to digest is it? Thinking of it really, it happens rather often than less. Guys fall deep for the "other girl" who initially posed as a sidechick. She knows so much less about you but you know everything about her. Because you've been on her case and you talked too much to your boyfriend about her than you do about yourself.

Your boyfriend loves it when you start talking to him (or should I say nagging?) about his sidechick. And the more you do it, the deeper he falls for her. Busted will keep the conversation flowing just to hear the sound of her name slipping out of your very own lips. He's not interested on what you have to say about her, he just want to see how long you can go talking about his mistress. Because the further you go, the more you get used to the idea of her being in his life.

All along you talking about his sidechick he'll be asking himself, "What's so interesting about my sidechick that my girlfriend has to invest to much of her time into (1) investigating about her, (2) talking to her and (3) talking about her. Your acts make him feel like he made the right move pursuing the sidechick. The natural reaction after that is, he'll grow fonder towards the sidechick.

When men become more attracted to their 'other partner,' something really interesting (at least to me) happens. The sidechick comes first, and the so-called 'mainchick' becomes the second-best. Next thing is, he'll be spending more time with the other girl, protecting the other girl, providing for the other girl, and even talking more about the other girl than he does about you.

Well... What comes after this is of no interest to me: DRAMA!!! DRAMA!!! DRAMA!!!  the so-called mainchicks are so dramatic you'll swear the won their men in the national lottery. They act like they have no idea how they initially won his interest. Possibility is, we'll talk more on this behaviour on our next post. What one needs to note for now is, sidechick syndrome need to be handled with care and maturity, otherwise you are destined into swiping position with her... If you don't get kicked out of the triangle entirely.

Let's do this again soon. Keep visiting the blog and tell your folks to do the same. Remember sharing is caring (in terms of the blog, not partners!) and your comments are much welcome.