Women are noticeably amused by their ability to fake orgasm. But how about a man who persistently 'comes' on a woman he feels less strongly towards? Surprisingly enough, men are ever ready to keep the relationship going even when his heart is no longer in it. But why so?
Men are driven by bravery, a desire to protect and willingness to provide. Biblically these are responsibilities entrusted to men by God. They are embedded in his spirit. His heart's desire is to please, not hurt. Subconsciously a man can only hurt a woman in an attempt to please her. A brother who purposely hurts a woman is not half a man.
So how do such good and just men end up faking relationships? Men fake relationships because of their fear of hurting women. You probably have already noticed how hardly men initiate 'break-ups.' A man's fear to initiate a break up is intertwined to his unwillingness to hurt a woman. The portrayal of a man is his intellectual abilities. Men are never ready to seat, drool and worry about a problem. What a man want is to open his tool box and fix every challenge that stands before him. Mourning isn't something that men embraces, thus Zulus would say "Indoda Ayikhali" (A man never cries).
So men would rather stay in a relationship just to make you happy, rather than looking at you mourning all the way out of their lives. Having been with you for the past eight months, he knows already that you are fragile, sensitive and can barely live without him, because you told him so. He knows the endless calls, SMSes, pings he'll get from you the day he let you walk out of that door. And he cannot bare every second of that, thus the saying "time heals every wound" does him no justice. He's Mr Fix-It for all I know, he cannot sit down and let your Psychotherapist deal with his problems, nope.
So, should it be of interest to you, how the hell you gonna find out if he's no longer into you? Well, If you've been in more than one relationship(and I know you've been), it should be easy for you to pick warning signs. One thing you certainly need to know is when love is over, things change. Not necessarily the intense to normal romance type of change. That's normal. Relationships are ablaze initially, and the flames sizes down with time, until they are just good enough to keep you warm.
Your main source of information about your relationship with him is his actions. Forget about him holding and kissing you publicly and buying you roses in and out of spring, that's bound to change. Here I am talking about his actions towards you. How he talks to you, doing things he knows you want him to do (not necessarily dancing to your guitar), his desire to make you happy, his sensitivity to your genuine wishes and his availability when you need him. Also the excuses he always make to avoid being with you could serve as the warning sign that love is over.
Men love excuses, as genuine as sometimes excuses may sound. Excuses remain exactly excuses. If he really cannot go out to see a movie with you on a Thursday afternoon as you requested, it should be to his effort to make it up for letting you down. Making it up for whatever didn't happen between you is a goldmine for assuring a woman that you still love her. Love shouldn't really be a perfect equation but rather balanced efforts.
The best thing you can do each time a man gives you a chain of excuses for not making you happy is to give him the space to deal with his chain of excuses. This is more necessary if you are not the person to help him go through his problems (excuses), and quite often you are not sweetheart. This will not only give him space deal with his excuses but also it will assure you if he's still into you. The bonus to this is, men love their space, especially if the relationship is still young. Most men normally blame it on their newly found love if they are not productive enough. So giving him space to deal with his excuses will cure a handful of his diseases.
Well urmmmmn... Can we agree that this is not a book? or at least not yet, so it's much better if we hold it here. Good thing is, you can always hit me with a question at absolutetreasurebox@gmail.com, also you comments will be highly appreciated below. Much love... Keep well.
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